The Pressure to Succeed

Be Something

In today’s world there is so much pressure to be something or someone. We have forgotten the value of the ordinary; the everyday living that nourishes us. Time at home with family, nourishing time with friend’s, time alone with our partners or by ourselves. This pressure to succeed is driving us away from one another and away from what keeps us healthy and sane.

No Purpose

I get so many mothers that come to see me; they feel lost, they feel that they have no purpose and no value, they are not earning any money and have no career to speak of. Yet they have the most important job in the world, to care for our children. I remember being one of those mums, I felt so lost and like I had lost any sense of myself as a woman capable of making a difference in the world. I didn’t respect my role as a mum, I didn’t give mothering any value and I didn’t feel valued by our society.

No Value

In our society we value things, titles, keeping things ordered and neat. Most of us want to avoid what’s real- the discomfort of not having your shit together, a messy house, a messy relationship, a messy career. We are sold this lie that to be happy, life is organized, neat, tidy and your always happy and together. This lie keeps us all stuck on a merry go round that we can’t step off of. We remain disconnected and therefore more vulnerable to believing this illusion of what happiness and a successful life is.

Success is in Relationships

Things, status, titles are not what makes us happy- healthy relationships are, relationships with nature, other people, ourselves. Our world needs us to remember what’s important, what serves us as humans so that we stop destroying the planet and one another in pursuit of something that is not even real- it’s a fairytale of what reality should be, not what it is. The fairytale rips us off, life is much more juicy and full with all of the mess, the chaos, the living on the edge that being a human walking on the earth entails. So I want to encourage you to drop the fairytale take the pressure of yourself and live, remember to be and to love.

The Pressure to Succeed

On Christmas Eve I got sick, I couldn’t wrap presents I couldn’t do anything, I was bedridden and I felt really guilty, how was I going to make Christmas special and meaningful from my bed. Every time I sat up I had a splitting headache and nausea so I had to surrender to my body and just rest. I was in bed for the next 3 days- I never get sick, however, this was a blessing in disguise. As my family went visiting our extended family I lay in bed- it hurt to read or watch TV so I forced to just be by myself and this made me really examine myself and my life. I realised I had put so much pressure on myself to succeed, that I had forgotten what it was I wanted in the first place. I was so used to just pushing myself forward to tick all of the boxes that I had disconnected from who I was. I wasn’t listening to the music I love any more, I wasn’t doing lots of things that used to nourish me, I was just going through the motions and in that getting quite lost and unwell. My father had high blood pressure at a young age and I could see myself heading down the same path, I realised that I put too much pressure on myself and in that I forget to enjoy my life.

Laying in bed pondering my life brought a lot of clarity:

  1. To slow down, nothing is worth my health

  2. To remember what I really love and to bring more of that back into my life

  3. To lighten up and trust in myself and also life

  4. To remember how fast time flies and how valuable my time with family and friends is

  5. To remember I have a whole life to create a career and that my children’s childhood is such a fleeting amount of time

  6. To remind myself that I’m happiest when my life is simple

  7. What will be will be
Equine Encounters

I had my first therapy session with a horse 6 years ago. I had done a lot of work on myself already, or so I thought, so I wasn’t expecting such a profound experience. I was in a round yard with the horse and the therapist and the horse responded to me in such a way that I burst into tears. It was like he had seen straight through me, he was gentle and kind but very clear and he taught me a lot about myself in just 50 minutes. After such an amazing experience I decided that I wanted to learn this type of therapy.

Since my training it has been an interesting journey, my horses have taught me so much about myself and taught me how to be a good leader for them. I have been blessed with lots of clients and I’m constantly amazed at how the horses work with people. They respond to everyone differently and are very honest in how they provide feedback to people. Each of the horses have their own personality and they seem to read people and then decide whether they have something to offer or help the individual with. I never know how a session is going to unfold, I have learnt to stand back and watch the horses and be curious about their behaviour and responses to get my clues on how to help the client. I have had women recovering from breast cancer walk into the paddock and one of the horses go straight up to her and rest their head on her chest as if to give her healing there.

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