In my work with women certain themes stand out- it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do most women undervalue themselves, they take on too much responsibility and they give to everyone else but themselves.
Sounds familiar! I can relate to all of these themes and I am always working on finding the balance and honouring myself in the process.
As women we don’t honour how hard we work and just how much goes in to an average day! We work hard at work and at home, we emotionally support many people and we are constantly tuned in to what everyone around us needs. This often means that what we need does not get any airtime; it gets lost in the background somewhere.
It’s really interesting when people come to see me with the horses; nearly all of the women lose themselves in the horse. Meaning they lose touch with their bodies, their feelings and their needs and get to work trying to work out what they need to do so that the horse will like them and feel comfortable with them.
This is often also the case in life, we lose ourselves in our to do lists, in making our kids happy, our partners happy, our parents happy, our colleagues, our friends etc. and we forget about ourselves. Unfortunately, this is not a sustainable way to live, we get sick, we become resentful and uninspired and we become invisible in our relationships.
So some strategies to put yourself back on the page of your life:
- Get curious about what your needs might be- needs are things like- I need to eat well, I need 8 hours sleep, I need to move every day, I need time to myself everyday in silence, I need to be reminded how valuable I am, I need hugs too etc.
- Practice telling people what you need- this can feel scary, overwhelming and challenging especially if you feel like you have voiced your needs before and they haven’t been heard.
- Delegate- empower others to do more so that you can do less, allow others to do things differently to you, acknowledge that it may take them time and practice to do it as well as you do, teach them how to do the job properly and hand over control- yikes!!
- Get curious about what nourishes you, try new things, take risks and explore who you are.
- Start to check in with yourself first- learn to live from the inside out- feel your body, how does it feel, what do you need.
- Remember to connect with yourself regularly, gauge where you are at emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually- if you aren’t happy examine why and make changes.
- Honour your cycle, rest when you need to rest, create when you feel to create etc.
- Allow other people to support you and be open to receiving from others.
- Remember that Authentic power lies in understanding who you and supporting yourself in expressing that.
In honouring and looking after ourselves we send powerful messages to our children, our partners and our community. Remember that you teach others how to treat you, if you never look after yourself no one else will either, they will not know how to unless you can tell them. Honouring yourself and getting in touch with who you are and what you need is living life to the full and living it on your terms, it often means that you are fired up and juicy about life, your tank is full because you are getting your needs met. You have more to give others, you are more present and it comes from a place of authenticity and congruence, people will know where they stand with you and they wont have to guess what you need or who you are anymore.
I would love to hear other strategies for how you support yourself as a woman on a daily basis. Leave a comment below!